Like soaking an infected scab & ripping it off... It hurts like hell, but you still gotta do it. Sometimes, you just need a second opinion when somethings infected so you can know how to treat it. And sometimes, you just gotta be drunk to do it, so you don't feel the pain. Or, in this case, you do feel the pain, and that's how the scab gets ripped off.

And on that lovely note, I'm probably going to be sober for a while now. ^.^ Having emotional breakdowns in the kitchen floor of people you don't exactly know isn't fun, no matter how needed it is. My only saving grace (and this is probably not really "saving" in any sense of the word >.> is that I don't really remember. Oh, well, they say secrets don't make friends or something of that sort, and apparently, I have no secrets once I've passed that part of intoxication. >.<

*shrugs* Ah, well. This is part of the reason I left in the first place, was to have life experiences I wouldn't have been able to have remaining where I was. Just gotta take note, learn from said experience, and do with it as I will.

Amusing side story time! ^.^ Well, I thought I misplaced $100 when I was, erm, indisposed. No, I never thought anyone stole it. While that particular thought did cross my mind (did I mention I was paranoid?) I do trust my gut feelings, which directed me to trust the people I was with. Which I did. But I wasn't too worried about the $100, oddly. Even though it was pretty much my last bit of money, and I have some issues with billing that I'm not going to worry about (studioiusly not worry about). But I wasn't too worried. But I found it. Right where I left it. So I gotta call up the peoples and let them know they can call off the search for the elusive $100. ^.^

And another amusing, but also extremely annoying side story in my mis-adventures in MO. At least a grand mystery was solved. As it turns out now, I've grown in the chest area since I last check my sizing... oh, probably when I was abou 18 or so. >.> I'm annoyed, because it means I have to buy a bunch of new bras. It's like when I lost a bunch of weight, and now I'm striving to get it back on. I just don't want to have to buy new clothes for myself, at least, not that much. I was happy with myself the way I was, and now I have to get used to a whole new sizing department. Well, at least now I know why the corests at Hot Topic wouldn't fit me right, no matter which I got.

Side note on side story: I'm not as annoyed as I seem about it. Or maybe I am, but I'm also vaguely amsued by the entire thing.

So, for the first week here, I think I slept through most of it. Catching up on the sleep I didn't know I had to catch up on. But then again, the whole REM sleep thing and me not getting it... yeah. So, I slept through most of it, like the dead. And now I'm rested.

And tomorrow I have a job lined out!!! *dances* It won't pay a whole lot, but hopefully if I'm very frugal I'll be able to meet the demands I need to meet before I... Well, before I have to meet them.

So things aren't precisely going as planned, and things aren't going smoothly and easily as I might have hoped they would. But over all, things are significantly better than in OK. I don't feel as stressed-out or as pressed. I don't feel like I'm being obligated or forced into things I don't want or need. I feel relaxed for the first time in a long time. I learned that I can break down, and the world won't come to a crashing halt and fall to pieces. I learned that it's okay to not know where your furture will go. I learned that stickers are really hard to get off your windshield. I learned that I miss Sean a WHOLE lot more than I ever thought I could.

And despite all thise, I still have a great deal of hope here. Hope. It's weird to hope again. It's weird to have hope. I can't remember the last time I hoped for anything like this, hoped for something beyond getting to the gas station before I run out of gas so I can put in $5 - $10 so I can make another trip or two in and out of town.

I know things won't be easy, and times will be hard. And I'll re-acquaint myself with bargain brands and re-learn how to make a meal of ramen noodles. Maybe not quite that hard just yet, but things will be hard, and it won't always be rainbows and sunshine. But despite that, despite knowing all of that, I still have a great deal of hope for my life now.

It's a weird feeling. I kinda like it.